I think that
Sleeping Beauty and the rest of the Disney princesses are partly to blame for
all of this fantasy about two people who could fall deeply in love after
performing a 3-minute musical. This is
mediocre.
Love, respect, and
honesty are the basic foundations of a strong relationship. If there is a breach in any of these elements
then negative things happen, like having an emotional affair.
An emotional
affair is a new relationship that sits on the borderline of friendship and
romance. Part of its deceptive nature is that it starts out
innocent and then eventually evolves into something, not necessarily sexual,
but confusing and inappropriate.
So, watch out for
these warning signs and check if you’re being emotionally unfaithful.
Photo by: Mateus Lunardi Dutra
#1) He Has Become Your Primary Confidant
It feels so right
to find someone who understands your frustrations, someone who validates you
and can make you laugh. The only thing wrong
about this picture is that the person you’re sharing your hopes and dreams with
isn’t your husband.
So, here goes the
million dollar question. Out of all your
friends, why choose to confide in this specific person?
You should know
that every single time you invest your emotion you are also drawing commitment
away from your relationship. Eventually,
you become less interested and distant with your partner.
No mortal is ever immune
to communicate and to having meaningful companionship. However, making this element of human nature
an excuse for your behavior, when
you’re already committed to someone, is a breach of trust. You are putting your partner in a negative
position once you let another person have a special connection with you.
#2) He Occupies
Your Mind, a Lot
The
anomaly is more obvious at this stage.
You find yourself anxiously checking on your phone, waiting for a call
or a text message from him. When you’re
not together, you find yourself thinking about him a lot. You fantasize about him and just the mere
thought of seeing him gives certain parts of your body a pulsating sensation, which is a total giveaway that may lead to
unfaithfulness.
At
this point in time, the feeling of excitement and anticipation of being with
the person are not innocent anymore.
#3) He Pushes
the Friendship to the Edge & You’re Enjoying It
You
start to break the “friendship hours.”
You contact each other on weekends and find ways to meet outside
work. This also includes the exchange of
dirty jokes, sexy videos and some naughty thoughts. You get curious on how far he will go and you
try to gauge his reactions.
You
are opening yourself to a particular type of intimacy which creates a unique bond that cuts out and totally
excludes your partner. Furthermore, the
temptation of the availability of spending time alone with this guy makes you
more vulnerable to do something wrong.
#4) He Give You
Presents
Gift-giving
is good but not if it comes with a motive. This phase is a little bit tricky because it is not limited to
things that you wouldn’t normally receive from a friend of the opposite sex,
like sexy lingerie or jewelries. It
could also come in simple forms like coffee, chocolates and candies. There is always a hidden message that comes
with it, “We are so close.”
#5) Introducing
Him to Your Partner Makes You Feel Uneasy
You
better really check yourself when you feel uneasy spending time with this person
when your partner is around. Obviously there is something that you’re trying to hide or that you’re
ashamed or scared of, especially when your partner finds out what you have
been sharing with this person.
How to Deal With It
To strongly deal
with infidelity is to learn its components.
You have to understand that more than just sex, having an affair is
about breaking trust.
To prevent an emotional
affair doesn’t mean you should stop meeting people and avoid your friends. Aside from being unhealthy, it is also
unrealistic. Harder than it sounds, the
solution is to communicate with your partner and address your issues. Once you’re in a committed relationship, you
become exclusive. You have to know that
there are certain things that you can only share with your partner and not to
the rest of the world. Your partner
should be your priority, your primary
go-to person and your 911 for most things.
Also, whenever you
find yourself missing that person, snap out of it right away. Make yourself busy and create a distraction
from the distraction itself. Be creative
and proactive by not giving into the “emotional rush”. Let go of the feeling.
Surround yourself
with safe friends, meaning not closely-related to the man you’re trying to
avoid. Friends serve as your personal
life-support system. They never fail to
override the feeling of being alone.
Finally, think
logically. Calculate the cost of everything you need to give up
to fulfill your fantasy like your marriage, your home, the happiness of your
kids and the feelings of people dear to you.
In the end, you will realize that it is not at all worth it.
The antidote is making correct decisions
after another. So, you better check
yourself before these warning signs get you trapped so bad that you’ll ruin
your entire universe.
Have you ever been
attracted to someone else while you’re in a committed relationship? Whether or not, you find yourself guilty of
emotional affair, what do you think is the best way to deal with it? Feel free to share your thoughts.
